The Rock star family: Rosetta, Philae and Kid Rock

Today, I'm talking about my favorite robots and the BIG Kid Rock: 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko.

As you recall, Rosetta and Kid Rock had a baby robot called Philae. According to Kid Rock, the baby looked nothing like him and he moved on. (Asteroids tend to do that. I've no idea why Rosetta thought he'd stick.)

Instead of realizing her mistake and finding a nice scientist to settle down with, Rosetta grabs Philae and runs off after Kid Rock. It took her forever to track him down, but she did. She then sends her son, Philae down to Kid Rock and tells him she's tired and he needs to care for Philae.

You know this had to be traumatic for Philae. First, his dad wants nothing to do with him and runs off. Then his mom grabs Philae and chases after him. Then just dumps him on the rock. Nor does Kid Rock want him, which Philae discovered when he attempted to attach himself to the surface. "NO WAY! You aren't mine and you don't look a thing like me!"  He then shouted at Rosetta hanging above them filming it all. "You can ask for alimony 'til your gold turns to lead, but I'm  not giving you anything!"

Needless to say, Philae goes wandering off to cry in a dark dip, not realizing until it was too late, that the shade was not his friend.  

When Kid Rock moved closer to the Sun, Philae woke from his long sleep and called back to the humans on Earth. We were all so happy to hear from him. I even cried with happiness that against all odds, he was back. But not one earth person offered to fly out and rescue him, so soon he grew despondant and went silent again. He was tired of giving out data but never getting any in return.

And what was Rosetta doing all this time? Sniffing about Kid Rock, try to determine what he's made of. Seriously, Rosetta, you should have inquired about his composition when you first met him. Not after you've had baby Philae, chased your rock star down, and dumped the poor Philae in his lap. Kid Rock was getting ready to go on his Round the Sun tour. Tours are the life blood of rock bands! You know that!

 But like gum on a shoe, Kid Rock cannot get rid of Rosetta...or Philae for that matter.  If he even tried to invite some pretty rockett over to his space after a concert, Rosetta would be all over her in seconds, reporting everything back to Earth.  The paparazzis would have a field day!

So what is to become of our dysfunctional space family? Well, the Earthlings have decided they are going to get the family back together. Sounds sweet. We all love a happy ending....

OR NOT.

The earthlings have given Rosetta permission to CRASH into Kid Rock. During her descent she will measure and send back everything she can about the jerk. While she didn't know a great deal  when they made Philae, she does now. For example, he has a great deal of sweet smelling oxygen around him. The question she wants to know is: does his composition make him smell so sweet or is it the scent from some hussy rock that rubbed up against him some time before Rosetta caught up with her rock star. 

While the humans want her to CRASH softly, don't count on it.  Like any female who has been abandoned and ignored, she's going to end matters with a vengence.  

And what about Philae? Most earthings think he is truly dead now. The red marker shows where they think he is. But he's not talking.

And here is a close up: 

Poor Philae probably starved to death from a lack of nurturing from either of his parents. Seriously, some robots and rocks shouldn't be allowed to care for a field mouse.

Well, at least now have clear proof Philae was Kid Rock's. Here's a recent upload at the ESA site sharing Philae's sounds of science:

https://soundcloud.com/esaops/the-sound-of-philae-conducting-science2

Thanks for reading all the way to the bottom. For more humorous science, try my Multiverse series.

Philae Awakens!

It's a Miracle!

Little Philae has awoken from it's seven months sleep.

First, let's review Phil's sad story of abandonment last year. 


Yes, I could send you to a professional site to recall the past, but my version is so much funnier that I don't want to.

So deal with it. 

That means read it.

Have you read it?

If you did, you know we left a lost and lonely child with his uncaring rock star father, while his mother pulled further away.

There was always the hope Phil would wake up to talk to us again. But seriously, the kid wasn't latched down. What were the chances he'd stay with his dad?

Still, ever optimistic, the humans at ESA starting opening  communication to him now that his dad is getting closer to the sun and warming up.

And to my shock, Phil remained hidden somewhere on his dad and communicated with ESA.  He even sent them some data, mostly about himself, but given the hell he's been through, I think a bit of self interest is justifiable. 

So what next?

I'm sure the humans want to know where the bloody hell he is! Given they almost changed his mom, Rosetta's purpose to go look for the bot, they really want to know this. But at the last minute, they came to their sanity and had her maintain her mission. 

Good thing too, or Rose wouldn't be around to say good bye to Phil, and why else would he have woken up? Clearly, he wishes to tell his mom and all the humans who fell in love with the grand little bot Good bye and thanks for all bolts.

Why goodbye? Well, if you had read the prior blog like I asked you to, you would know. Phil isn't expected to survive the drive by the sun.

Even his dad may be very different when he finishes his drive by. Hopefully more responsible.

As for Rosetta, she'll watch the death of Phil, the assault on Kid Rock, send the info back to the humans and head out to outerspace to finally get a moment's peace.  

But she will leave, having had a chance to say her last goodbye to Philae. And that is the best we could have asked for. It had always been a one way road for Philae and Rosetta. 

While they never had a say in his mission, Philae took his planned death like a trooper. Otherwise, he would have hopped off his dad and gone for a space-about on his own. 

So let us learn from Philae. It's not how you die, but how you live that matters. 


HOLD DE PRESSESS!!!

Rosetta located Philae

And the ESA has changed Rosetta's Mission and extended her life until Sept 2016. Instead of wandering off into space, she will set down by Philae on her deadbeat husband and stay with her child. No longer will Philae die alone. His mom will be there with him.

HOLD DE PRESSES AGAIN.

That's not what's going to happen. Poor Philae is still going to die alone from severe sunburn. Then months later his mom will attempt to land...something she's not equipped to do. The big change is that she'll follow her deadbeat husband around and watch him change as the sun alters his character. Then when they are far away from the sun, she'll lose too much power and with her last dying efforts she'll attempt to land on Kid Rock.

Probably nowhere near Philae, if he didn't burn and float off into space months before. 

Now I'm sorry I read this update at all. The ending was far more poignant before...

Liza O'Connor is an author. (Couldn't you tell?)
In a few days, she will be bringing out a Sci Fi series called the Multiverses.  

Book 1 is available for Pre-Sale
The Gods of Probabilities. 

Each month I'll release another one.
These are all full length novels, so it's possible, like Philae, I'll burn up before finishing my task.
But I'm going to try my hardest...

A Family crisis in Space

Once upon a time, in far away space, there was a mother with child chasing her dead beat husband.

The mother's name was Rosetta, and let me tell you, she ran herself in circles going after Kid Comet, all the while carrying her baby drill-bot name Philae...we'll call him Phil due to my typing issues.

The extreme levels Rosetta will go to hunt down her Kid Comet.

Turns out, it wasn't just alimony Rose wanted.

After 10 years of chasing, she finally caught up to Comet Kid. 

Her human companions were not hopeful she'd be successful. In fact, they went on and on about everything that could go wrong, and it was a dire and long list. 

But Rose refused to listen. She was on a mission.

The first thing she does is drop Phil in Kid Comet's lap. Clearly Phil was upset, but he landed on his feet and tried his hardest to be brave...only he didn't like his father at all and he sure as hell didn't want to be tied down to him. So he mucked up his anchors which kept him foot loose and fancy free.

He remained in contact with his mom, Rose, and they'd talked whenever his father didn't get in the way. But all she wanted to know about was his father. What's he like? Was he hard or soft? What type of rock is he? 

Angry and sick of discussing his father, Phil decided to go on a walk about.

Rose asked him were he was going, but he refused to say. And when he got there, he had no idea where 'there' was. 

When his mom asked him to drill into his father and run other tests on his bad parent, he was more than happy to oblige. However, eventually Phil got tired and found a nice shady spot where he could snuggle in to sleep.

He had done everything his mom wanted, but he was tired now, so Rose asked him to shift a sun panel so it might in the future catch more light, then let him shut down and go to sleep while she moved further away from Kid Comet less he get her with yet another baby.

And thus Rose remains, hovering 30KM above Kid Comet who continues to rotate to his own music. She can't see or hear her little robot now, for he's sleeping in some dark shadow.

Rose thought she'd be happy once she dumped Phil off on his father, but she's not. She desperately wants to see her son, to know he's all right.

Like all creatures, living and mechanical, life is finite. Little Phil was never expected to live through Kid Comet's close drive by the sun. 

But that doesn't mean that as his dad nears the sun, Phil won't wake up and have the chance to say goodbye to his mom and all the humans who fell in love with him. No one expected him to wander all over his dad, so who is to say he can't wake up and say goodbye to us all.

And what about his Dad? How will he survive the drive by? He's expected to come out the other side, but he might let off a lot of steam and come out a changed fellow. Or he might fall completely apart. Comets are unpredictable fellows, so we really won't know until it happens.

And will Rose continue to chase Kid Comet, or will she give up and find some nice steady planet to admire?

Only time will tell.

What you've learned today is that Liza O'Connor can make anything silly, even extraordinary space accomplishments.

Liza's a bit sad over Phil.

But you can cheer her up!

 Check out her books.