Friday, May 2, 2014
Earth wants its nutrients back.
I just read my town is going after 'aggressive pot holes'.
First thought: They must be talking about pothole that eat cars. So I googled to find out what these look like.
Second thought: How could you not see this hole? Were you texting? If so, it serves you bloody well right.
But often they appear out of nowhere. You're just driving along, and the road disappears beneath you.
And then some giant comes along and pisses all over your car. Talk about adding insult to injury.
I had to ponder the next one awhile before coming up with how it came to show us it's underbelly.
The only way I see is that there was no pot hole until he was halfway over, then suddenly, the ground got hungry and sucked the back half in, causing the pickup to to flip over like a dead carcass.
So maybe my town is correct to label the potholes as aggressive, a term normally reserved for animals.
What if EARTH is alive, not just on it's skin, but inside. What if, after years of being depleted of iron by the bald primates that infest its skin, and dig about like evil chiggers, it's decided to reclaim its nutrients. Thus, explaining why it wants cars, well some cars. Mine appears to be mostly made of plastic.
To Earth's annoyance, the bald primates keep tugging stuff out of its many mouths, before it can digest them.
Perhaps if we let it eat the ones it catches, it will grow full and stop eating more cars. It's not like these cars are worth anything after their encounter with an aggressive pot hole.
Seriously, I might never drive a car again if this happened to me.
So where have I led you today?
To the possibility that Earth is alive and wants its stolen nutrients back.
Really wants them back:
I should note that my town's pothole problems looks more like this:
Which while annoying, only suggests someone did a poor job packing the asphalt when it was originally laid.
But the others, look like sentient hunger pains from earth.