Neutrino's are like humans, but smell better

Whenever I use this banner, you can be certain about two things: 1st. I have no cohesive, well thought out issue to discuss, 2nd it probably won't make sense.

Still reading? You must be very bored.

Well my question today is:
Are neutrinos like humans?

Let me go find a picture of a neutrino, so we know what we are talking about.

I'd bet money that's not a 'real' neutrino because they are really small.

Before we go further, here is it's definition.
A neutrino is an uncharged elementary particle that is believed to have a very small mass, that has any of three forms, and that interacts only rarely with other particles

Translation: The neutrino lives in an atom with their family. They are very small and shy of other particles. As long as they remain with their family they do well. But when they decide to leave and go out on their own, they quickly die.

And scientist are lurking about like space predators to trick the neutrinos to leave their home because...and you might want to send your small children away from this blog... BECAUSE THEY WANT TO MEASURE HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE FOR THE NEUTRINO TO DIE.

Is that not the sickest thing you've ever heard?

Well, the Scientific Community is up in arms over the situation, but not because it's cruel and morbid, but because the little neutrinos don't on average all die exactly at the same time. In fact, there is a 9 second discrepancy between the two measuring techniques. That is huge length of time in neutrino land. 

Now things are going to get technical here, so I'm going to get really silly so you won't stop reading. I'll give you the link to the real article later in case you actually wish to know what is going on.

There are two ways to measure a neutrinos death. Yes, we are so morbid that one way to measure wasn't enough, and now it's come to bite their morbid asses, because the two methods don't agree when little neutrino dies. Before we begin, let's me clear about the term 'death'. Like humans, when neutrinos die, they don't disappear, they become something else. When we die, we become foul smelling goop and bones. When the neutrino dies, it becomes protons after emitting an electron and an anti-neutrino, but to the best of my knowledge, none of those are goopy or smelly.

The 1st method used for about 30 years now is called the Beam Experiment. It sends the neutrons marching down a narrow beam until they die and transform into a proton. A proton trap is laid on the sides of the narrow beam to capture and count the protons. 

The 2nd method, used for 15 years, and is considered to be more precise, is called the bottle method.  It gets the neutrinos drunk, traps them in a bottle, then watches as they die over time.

Seriously, could these scientist be more morbid?
Actually, they are because the two methods of luring neturinos out to watch them die are coming up with different averaged death times.

The beam's average is 887.7 plus or minus 3.1 seconds. 

The bottle's average is 878.5 plus or minus 1 second.

Thus, proving once again that walking is better for you than drowning yourself in a bottle. 

It's true with humans and it's evidently true with neutrinos.
You cannot expect drunken neutrinos, stuck in a bottle watching each other dying to live the same life span as neutrinos that walk towards infinity, dying along the way.  

Moving makes you live longer. There is no mystery other than neutrinos live by the same underlying principles that humans do. Exercise will outlive stationary every day.   There may also be a relativity issue going on here as well, concerning time and movement, but I've played with your brain enough now. 

For those whose ears aren't bleeding, here is the link to the real scientific article from Scientific American.