Saturday, May 17, 2014

Food for the Future Earth

For those who write of our near and disastrous future, I thought perhaps we should assess available food sources.

Yes, when the cricket keeps you up all night with it's sweet song, you can eat it in retaliation.

Most experts suggest purchasing your crickets from a cricket farmer or your local pet store rather than from your own from your noisy backyard, since you've no idea where wild crickets have been. For all you know, they were just sprayed with poison and their lovely aria is actually a death song about their short life.

It is important, when you bring home your bag of crickets you eat or freeze them quickly. In other words, do not leave them lying about in the bag. They will spoil. Put them either in the refrigerator or freezer at once.

If you put them in a freezer, they will die.  
If you put them in the refrigerators, they will cease to move, but still live. There's a big debate about which is better. Some insist they must be cooked while alive (like a lobster).

After a half hour, in either case, dead or immobile, they are ready to be tossed into boiling water for 2 minutes. This is to kill any bacteria they might carry on them.

No matter how you wish to eat your cricket, the above instructions should be followed every time.

Space Rep: Hold on. What if in the future our electric grid is fried and we have no electricity? Then we'll have no freezer or refrigerator.

I couldn't find any specific detail on how people without electricity prepare crickets, but here is my guess. They go directly to the boil for two minute stage using a deep pot with a lid, so the crickets don't leap out. A few crickets no doubt escape during the transition from basket to pot, which perhaps the children chase down and return to the pot.

Some crickets are poisonous due to the plants they eat, but boiling them in water will extract the toxins as well.

Catching diseases from insects is actually less likely than catching diseases from animals, since we aren't very similar to a cricket.

The only people who seem to acquire allergies to crickets are those who raise them. It is very rare people develop allergies from eating them.

So now that we know they are safe to eat in our future bleak work, let's check out some recipes:

For the fancy meal:

Stir fried crickets on a salad.
After prep, drop crickets in a wok with oil and fry for 1-2 minutes, until the oil stops crackling.
Then add butter, cumin, salt, paparika, corriander, and chili powder. Stir it about. Once the butter has melted, extract the crickets, set to the side. 
Throw in fresh baby spinach into the wok. At first signs of wilt, pull it out and place it in a salad bowl.

Place crickets on top of salad and dash it with lemon juice. Eat at once. With your eyes closed, if necessary.

For the casual snacker:
Prep them, then preheat oven to 200 degrees.
Place crickets on an oil sprayed cookie sheet widely spaced.
Lightly sprinkle with salt
Bake around an hour, flipping them frequently. (It depends upon the size of your crickets and how juicy they are.) They must be cooked until crunchy, but do not burn them! 

One way to tell if they are ready to eat is to roll one in your fingers. If the legs crumble off, then it's done.

Cricket's have a nutty flavor that only requires salt to be enjoyed.

Now in the future world of no electricity, you'll probably need to use a dutch oven on coals to achieve the proper heat. So it gets far more difficult.

Pan sauted:
Saute the crickets in olive oil then once they start to look crispy, add crushed garlic and salt.

Yes, that one even I can do without electricity.

You can also shiskebob, them adding your fav fruits and vegetables. But you will need a thin shiskebob stick, unless you've bought locust instead of crickets.  

Batter covered:
And if you cannot get over looking at a cricket, cover them with a cornmeal batter and drop them hot oil.

But here is why your people of the future will need to eat crickets.  A dried cricket, pound for pound, rivals a cow for the amount of protein it has and has far more calcium and iron than a silly old cow, which is much harder and costlier to raise than a cricket.

And cows moo as if they are in constant pain, while crickets sound very cheerful in comparison.

So there you have it. Future people should be eating crickets, not just because the nutty flavor is delicious, but because they'll probably be the only food source remaining. 

In twenty years, I will write a blog on the feared cricket shortage to occur in the future once we discover they taste best of all covered in dark chocolate.

I have to go eat now. This blog has made me very hungry...

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