Today
I’m interviewing a very special person – Tompa Lee, the protagonist of The Triumph of Tompa Lee by Ed Hoornaert, the final
volume of The Trilogy of Tompa Lee.
Liza: Welcome, Tompa, and thanks in advance for responding to my questions.
Tompa: You're welcome in advance then.
Liza: Can you tell us a little about yourself?
Tompa: Why do you want to know? Is this a maggoty damned trick? If it is, I—
(Ahem. Sorry for this interruption. My author, the guy
who writes me, just told me to cool it with the attitude and answer politely.
If I don’t, he’ll invent even more disasters for me. But I warn you in advance,
‘polite’ is a foreign language I don’t speak well.)
Thank
you so very, very, very much for asking, kindest, gentlest sirs and madams and
alien sentients. My name is Tompa Lee, and I’m a ravishingly gorgeous
twenty-four-year-old seductress who—
(Ahem. My author again. He says to answer truthfully,
as well as politely, and without sarcasm. The man is never satisfied.)
Truthfully?
I’m okay-looking, if you like short, flat-chested orphans with great survival
instincts. I escaped the worst ghetto on Earth by diligence, hard work, and
larceny—mostly larceny—and clawed my way into Earth’s Space Navy. When I got to
planet Zee Shode, the intelligent natives first tried to kill me, then
proclaimed me a goddess. Stupid of them, right?
But
one of the natives, an old, working-class guy named Awmit, became my friend.
I
never had a friend before.
Never.
Liza: I can't imagine why not. What is your role in the story?
Tompa: I’m
the title character, so obviously I’m the heroine. Let me clue you in on
something: you do NOT want to be the title character of a science fiction
adventure novel. Problems, problems, endless, life-threatening problems.
The
bit about becoming a goddess happened in another book—I’ve endured three
novels’ worth of disasters—but since each book is a separate disaster adventure,
you can start with the latest. That’s The
Triumph of Tompa Lee. I adore the title but abhor the problems I’m expected
to triumph over.
Liza: Now that I understand. What is your favorite hobby?
Tompa: You’re kidding me, right?
I
know the word hobby, of course. I’m
very smart, even though my schooling ended when the orphanage was destroyed
when I was twelve. Someone like you probably sneers at someone like me,
self-educated and without a degree. Well, screw you with a cactus, Jack.
Hobbies
are the stuff that gordos (rich fat cats) do to keep themselves from getting
bored. Told you I knew the word. Thing is, I’ve never had the luxury of spare
time.
I
guess you could say my hobby is staying alive.
Liza: Other than staying in live, what is the challenge you’re trying to
overcome during the story?
Tompa: Because I’m a so-called goddess (hah!) the most powerful organization in the Galaxy is determined to squash me. Yep, the Galactic Trading Council. They think I’m getting uppity and threatening their monopolies.
The
book opens when an alien from the Council projects himself into my
bedroom—while I’m getting dressed, the pervert!—and orders me to commit
‘honorable’ suicide. After I refuse—of course I refuse!—they hire a bounty
hunter who kidnaps Awmit and Ming. (Ming is a brave, handsome, talented Space
Navy undercover agent who wants to marry me. Him I don’t refuse.)
So
now I have to search the ruins of an alien city, alone, and rescue Awmit and
Ming before the bounty hunter kills them. Or me.
I
told you—problems, problems.
Liza: Don't envy you. If you could make one wish, what would
it be?
Tompa: Peace and quiet on a cute little terraformed moon I’ve been told about. And no more cockroachy disasters and sequels!
Liza: Yeah, I wouldn't count on that happening. There may be no ends to your sequels. Now let's find out about the book.
Title: The Triumph of Tompa
Lee
Author: Edward Hoornaert
Genre: Science Fiction
Tompa
Lee—orphan, anti-social loner, and homeless street meat—has clawed her way up
to the stars. There, on planet Zee Shode, she finds the galaxy’s greatest
treasures: friendship and love.
Happily
ever after? Not if the Galactic Trading Council has its way. The Council rules
by divide and conquer, and Tompa commits the unforgivable crime of forging an
alliance between humans, Shons, and Klicks.
The
Council hires Lily Kilsing, earth’s most feared bounty hunter, to deal with
her. Kilsing lures Tompa to a deserted alien city by kidnapping her fiancé and
her best friend.
Aided
only by the voices of dead people, can Tompa outsmart the huntress, or will she
be forced to sacrifice her own life to save her loved ones—and the future of
the Shon race?
Buy links:
Website: http://eahoornaert.com
Sounds like you are a determined young person who has not only street smarts but some luck! Maybe you can find that moon and enjoy some happiness before your author has other plans for you!
ReplyDeleteShe's a sassy girl, she is
ReplyDelete