Saturday, December 24, 2016

Adam waits for Santa on Christmas Eve.

Adam is my Artificial Intelligence 
in Public Secrets & Birth of Adam.

Adam performed an analysis of Santa Claus and all the claims about the man. If you didn't catch my humorous blog, you probably should catch up by going here.

While he debunked the reindeer landing on roofs, he did eventually conclude that Santa Claus had done something similar but not exactly the same as what he had done to ensure he could never be destroyed. 

Adam had uploaded his program into a satellite which then downloaded itself all over the world. Somehow Santa had cloned itself into humans that resembled him, but not exactly. In fact, all the Santas varied in height, age, and weight. And upon international analysis, they even wore different clothes and gave themselves different names, such as Father Christmas. 

So Adam's going to stay up all night waiting for Santa to ask how he managed this extraordinary feat.

Adam knows he needs to keep Santa longer than the fellow normally stays in a house, so he's bought a large variety of drinks from eggnog to every brand of beer imaginable to hard liquors. 

Adam also leaves the front door open. That's right, wide open. Good thing my AI isn't affected by temperatures. But just in case Santa gets a bit cold despite his thermal underwear and a hefty layer of insulation (fat), Adam has an electric fireplace set up in the living room.

Right next to the alcohol...hmmm... Adam decides to move the alcohol across the room, he doesn't want Santa catching on fire. Also, he searched long and hard for a comfy chair.  He even tuned the piano so he could entertain him if Santa wished.

Now he just needs to sit and wait for Santa to arrive.

A short time later, someone enters the opened front door, but he did not look like Santa at all! 

"Can I help you?" Adam asked. 

"Depends on how much you wish to live."

"You're not Santa, are you?" Adam challenges.

"There is no Santa. But if you hand over your wallet and the keys to your car, I'll let you live."

"Well, you're wrong on both accounts. First, there are a great many Santas.  And if you don't leave at once, I will be forced to constrain you."

Adam had him tied up with Christmas lights before the thug could even raise his gun. Having no clue what to do with the fellow, he put him under the tree with a bow on his head.

Having no idea when Santa would show up, he decides to play Christmas tunes on the piano. Upon hearing a sound behind him, he turns to discover the thief is no longer beneath the tree. In his place is an adorable baby dressed as an elf.

Santa came out of the kitchen with a chocolate cookie in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. "Ho, ho, ho!" he laughs. "Merry Christmas!"

Adam stands up. "Santa, I have so many questions."

"Ahhh, the thief. I turned back the clock to a time when he was a good child. I know your wife loves children, but this one is for you. If you raise him well, he'll grow up straight this time."

"How can you turn back time?"

Santa laughed. "You should ponder why you cannot. Neither of us is held by the constraints of humans. We are each uniquely special."

Santa gripped Adam's arm. "You are a very fine man, Adam and you do much good. You will give this child the life he needs. Now, I must continue my night's work. I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!"

"Come Dancer! We're behind schedule!"
We are always behind schedule...

And thus ends the mystery of Santa.... He is unique, just like Adam.

Adam can be found in these two books:

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