Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Dec 15-19th SFR Brigade Holiday showcase

AND THE WINNER IS....
SHERI  ELDER!
SHERI REQUESTED
GODS OF PROBALITIES

My AI character, Adam, from my books 
'Public Secret' and 'Birth of Adam' 
is a bit confused by Santa Claus.

Adam has just learned about this fat old man named Santa Claus who claims to go down chimneys on the eve of Dec 24, delivers presents, then eats all the home owner's cookies and drinks a variety of beverages in each house he visits. And inexplicably...no one calls the cops.


Never mind it is winter and most of those chimneys will have blazing fires in them. 
Not to mention sometimes Santa looks very creepy.

He also lands reindeer on the roof, which will cause major damage to the roof-tiles resulting in a leaky roof for the homeowners to repair.
Seriously, is there some reason he can't land on the grass and walk through the door? Then those poor slave deer could at least enjoy some grass while they rest.
Thank you for thinking about me.

And why is this fellow so  overweight? He's a heart attack looking to happen.  Seriously, he shouldn't be eating cookies!




And between the eggnog and the hard liquor, he shouldn't be driving either.

And do you realize how fast he has to go to deliver all his presents in a single night?



And let's be honest, Santa routinely delivers nicer presents to the rich than he does to the poor.

Here's a present for a rich kid:

Since the kid will be taking off on a sheet of ice, this car is not expected to survive more than a day.

And here's a present for a poor kid:
Who knows what is in that tiny burlap bag. Definitely not a sports car.

So you see why Adam, my Artifical Intelligence program/soon to be humanoid, is perplexed. Given how much this fellow is mentioned in December and all the warnings the smaller humans receive about being good or Santa is not going to bring any presents, Adam has substantial evidence that Santa is real... Or so a majority of humans seem to think.

And while Adam will concede Santa is real, there's a great deal of fiction in his claims. The facts say Santa cannot fit down most chimneys and if he tried, his death would be gruesome and could possibly cause the entire house to burn.

Not to mention most people no longer have large chimneys. Some don't have chimneys at all!


Since rampant fires cooking Santa have not occurred on prior Christmas nights, Adam is certain Santa does not go down the chimney, but rather picks the front door while the people inside are asleep or otherwise occupied.


Since he brings presents while he consumes their beverages and cookies, and no one ever calls the police, Adam has concluded this is a quid-pro exchange of commodities. 


However, the value of the exchange is so lopsided, Adam must assume Santa is not materialistic, only excessively hungry, rather like a bear before he hibernates.

And the only way Adam can conceive reindeer flying at all is either by wearing several jet packs, or more likely, by flying IN a cargo plane. 

But then, why are they needed at all? Santa could just fly the cargo plane, and hire Uber to drive him to each house he needs to break into.


Also, if the deer truly landed on roofs, all houses would require new roofs, and Adam checked. There is no spike in roof damage the night after Santa comes.


Thus, Adam has to conclude Santa does not arrive by flying reindeer. That is merely a ploy to get people to stare up at the sky, while he picks the door lock and enters each house to exchange presents for beer and cookies.


Next, Adam focused on a large math problem. It is impossible for one man to travel to every house, in the world, in a single night. Not even if he worked at the speed of light. So there must be more than one Santa. When Adam tested this theory, he discovered there was a massive quantity of Santas across the  entire world.


Finally, it all became clear to Adam! Like himself, Santa has embedded himself all around the world so that no one could ever destroy him. And while Adam has only begun to build himself a humanoid body, Santa has evidently mastered the technique. 


Adam decides he'll stay up on Christmas Eve so he might speak to the fellow.




Adam is so impressed with Santa, that he wants to give one lucky winner a free copy of any of Liza O'Connor's Sci-Fi romance novels. 

This means the winner gets to choose from Liza's 7 Sci-Fi Rom novels. 

Entering to win is very easy. Just subscribe to my newsletter in the right-hand column then leave me a comment below telling me which book you would like. Simple as that!




All you have to do to enter is sign up for her newsletter (see top of right column), so she can keep you updated on the 10 new novels she's publishing in 2017 and leave a comment as to which book you want. (She might give away more than one). 

Which means all you can get a present for yourself!


You have 5 days to buy them for 99cents.

Be sure to check out the other fabulous authors:
http://sfrcontests.blogspot.com/p/sfr-brigade-presents.html

40 comments:

  1. I have a soft spot for AIs, Liza. Adam sounds like fun.

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    1. As long as you do try to kill his beloved, you'll be fine. He's a kind and generous AI otherwise. He's just highly protective of the one who gave him sentience.

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    2. I couldn't find a place to comment on your blog, nor did I receive a confirmation to click for you newsletter. But that's probably all my fault. I have gremlins.

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    3. There is a little speech bubble just below the title of the post which you can click to comment. I'll check out the newsletter thing. Thanks for letting me know :)

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  2. Love Adam. Your post is hilarious, Liza.

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  3. Love your post. It is so funny-cool!

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  4. Scavenger's Mission

    bn100candg at hotmail dot com

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  5. That was hilarious! Thanks, I needed it - this is my Monday.

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    1. I bet that gets confusing when everyone else is insisting it's Thursday....

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  6. I love your description of Adam's puzzle!

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  7. What an excellent assessment of Santa Claus. LOL. The Gods of Probabilities.

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    1. Thanks. It probably was confusing aliens as well, so I'm sure they appreciate it to.

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  8. LOL! That was great! Santa delivering gifts in exchange of cookies because of his 'excessive hunger' made me laugh out loud. Such a fun interpretation from Adam!

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    1. I can't imagine what your robots would do. lol

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  9. Absolutely loved your post, Liza. Nice to have a laugh. You are your doggie make sure you have fun over the Christmas period, and I look forward to more encounters in 2017!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks. We've been hiking every day but not sure how long that will continue. BRRRR

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  10. Fabulous post. Love the way Adam looks at the world. Tweeted.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by. Glad you had fun!

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  11. Adam is a trip! Loved his post! Hope he gets to speak to Santa on Christmas Eve. :)

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  12. Good point. I may have to do a dec 24 blog...

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  13. Adam better make sure to find out the truth about Santa! I need to know! PS. These books are great... so grab them today!

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  14. Adam should talk to my terribly logical 12yo so they can compare evidence. 12yo can give many sensible explanations as to why there is no Father Christmas at all. :-)

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    Replies
    1. I try to avoid smart 12 yo. They can run circles around me.

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  15. LOL! This was a fantastic. Merry Christmas, Adam!!! And Liza. :-)

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    1. Thanks Tess. Adam is very proud of himself. Now he's demanding more time to chat with Santa on Christmas eve.

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  16. Fun post, loved the illustrations! Happy Holidays!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, may you have a grand holiday as well!

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  17. LOL I do wonder what aliens would think of our traditions. LOL

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    Replies
    1. Probably as much as Pippa Jay's 10 year old.

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  18. Maybe Santa needs that Mustang to make all of his rounds, or would a Bugatti be better?
    Merry Christmas!

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    Replies
    1. I not sure Santa would fit in the car, and there is the ice on the road issue. Nope Santa wants an Uber.

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