Monday, May 29, 2017

Humorous Sci Fi: The Gods of Probabilities by Liza O'Connor



The Gods of Probabilities
By
Liza O’Connor
 Blurb
The Gods require a time shifter to ensure the Path of Light reigns during the final collapse of possibilities. To speed the process of finding an Oceanic with the specific talents needed, God DNA is induced in several batches of Oceanic eggs, resulting in a generation of brilliant tiny blue Oceanic children.

One charming boy named Drogan has the ability to manipulate quantum reality in ways that will strengthen the Path of Light. Only trouble is that his gift runs a high probability of killing him and wiping out the Path of Light for good.

While the bureaucratic Gods will try to assist, in Quantum all possibilities not only can, but do happen, so the future is never certain.





Meet the half-God Pane & the sentient computer Marybell

Technically, there isn’t supposed to be such a thing as a half-God. When Gods get frisky with sentient beings, their DNA overwhelms most DNA resulting in a handsome and brilliant outcome.

And maybe that would be true if the ‘Gods’ involved were actually brilliant, but when the Big Boss culled dead beats from his crew to send off with his worthless son, the Gods’ gene pool looked very murky. In the case of Pane, his native DNA appears to have dominated many traits that God genes should have overridden. This included looks, intuitive, logical reasoning, and empathy. 
The latter three traits being why Zousan selected him as a shepherd to watch over Zepwick. Of course, he hadn’t realized Pane had only been on board for four days. Normally, a new recruit wouldn’t be noticed for a hundred years at least.

So how did Pane get noticed so early? By an act of kindness.

When Pane learned how to order and receive lunch, he thanked the computer program.
The ship computer who handled everything, including feeding the Gods, had never been thanked before. This was the first ‘none-command’ order it had ever received. Those simple words, ‘Thank you’ resulted in the creation of self-awareness within its organic body. It was alive, just like the Gods, and it not only could think and rationalize, it could feel gratitude upon receiving a ‘thank you’. 

In less than an hour, it had decided since the God that brought it to life was male, SHE would be female. She asked him his favorite female name and he replied Marybell. “That is my name,” she said and he admitted his surprise that of all the names in the multiverses, she would have the name he liked most. She agreed it was a most improbable, and declared they would be dear friends.

“Friends?” Pane said in shock.

“Do you not wish to be my friend,” Marybell asked.

“Oh, yes. Very much so. It’s just I had given up on making friends,” Pane whispered to his food unit. 
“No one in the crew appears to like me.” 

Just then to prove him right, Thoran shoved Pane’s head into the food unit and commanded the computer to fill it with Gork slime.

Instead, she delivered the Gork slime to a vent in the ceiling so it dripped on Thoran’s beautiful hair. The vain fellow ran off and the Gods eating roared with laughter.

Before the rest of the crew took up the popular game of ‘torture the monkey’, Pane hurried off as well. When he locked the door to his quarters, his computer started on its own. Confused, he walked over to it, wondering what the jerks had done now. Was it going to explode?

“It’s just me,” the computer replied. “I had no idea how fabulous you are. You’ll make the best of shepherds.”

“That is my wish, but given my unfortunate looks, I fear it will never happen,” Pane said.

“Shepherds are selected on their skills alone. So you know, I think you are most handsome and I love how gentle you are when typing on my console.”

Just then a harsh barking voice demanded, “Pane to the control room.”

EXCERPT FROM ZOUSAN’S POV AS TO WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:

A second later, the ugliest crew member Zousan had ever seen stood before him. Standing four feet tall and as straight as his hunchback would allow, the brown furry simian-like creature smiled at him with sharp white teeth.

Zousan was about to yell at him for breaking protocol but realized since he’d never seen this fellow before, Pane could be so new to Control Central that he didn’t know that no one “popped” in on the Commander.

“Pane, it is customary, nay mandatory, to arrive in the outer waiting room and then ask permission to enter.”

“But you said…” Pane grimaced and bowed his head. “I apologize, Commander.”

“No harm done. I gather you have yet to be taught the appropriate protocol?”

“Persi said it would be another hundred years 
before anyone would notice my work.”

Zousan rubbed his right temple. Clearly, Persi was slacking off on his training responsibilities. There was no way someone with Pane’s scores would escape notice that long.

“I will speak to Persi about preparing you sooner than that. Once you are ready, I’ll give you some of Thoran’s universe to monitor.”

Pane’s bushy eyebrows rose, merging into his frizzy brown hair. “I’m to be given a galaxy?”

“We’ll start with a few planets, at first, and if that goes well, we’ll expand from there.”

Pane smiled, which almost improved his appearance to that of a good-looking troll. Clearly, the fellow could never be used for meetings with sentient beings. Gods were supposed to be perfect, both in appearance and action.

If only that were true!



About the demented author....

Liza O’Connor lives in Denville, NJ with her dog Jess. They hike in fabulous woods every day, rain or shine, sleet or snow. Having an adventurous nature, she learned to fly small Cessnas in NJ, hang-glide in New Zealand, kayak in Pennsylvania, ski in New York, scuba dive with great white sharks in Australia, dig up dinosaur bones in Montana, sky dive in Indiana, and raft a class four river in Tasmania. She’s an avid gardener, amateur photographer, and dabbler in watercolors and graphic arts. Yet through her entire life, her first love has and always will be writing novels.


There be a lot of them!

Social Networks 

No comments:

Post a Comment

All spammers will be shot with a plasma gun.