Sunday, December 6, 2015

How to survive going Outbound - Liza's ten step program.

How to Survive Going Outbound

1) Avoid being killed by hungry mobs trying to get into the Shaman Territory.

The Shaman regret they had no choice but to bar their gates. They cannot feed such a mass of people and the fact you keep killing those around you and eating them is NOT helping! So don't expect them to change their mind.

2) Live in the Shaman's protected lands--Before they closed the gate.

3) Get passage on the LAST OUTBOUND SHIP.
This means you should have paid your Outbound fee years ago before all the city people turned into cannibals, back when all was good on Earth, before it's poles decided to reverse, allowing our electromagnetic shield to collapse, which resulted in constant bombardment of solar flares that wiped out all our digital money, making us poor, and destroying everything electronic, making us useless.
Behold a 63-word long sentence !!!

4) And this is really important. Have your entry into the ship written into a prophecy a hundred years ago.  I know it sounds like overkill, but trust me, when it comes time for you to actually getting on the ship, you're going to need to be special to be accepted. We all know the rich can buy your spot right out from under you. And they will try because you've been given the first class berth.

5) Agree to share your first class berth with a giant blue bull. Turns out this will greatly please the shaman, and it will keep at bay anyone else who wants to steal your berth when you head off to lunch. 

6) Oh wait, you'll need to marry your ghost wife's sister first, because only a family unit can request to go outbound, and no, you cannot marry the bull. It has to be a family unit that can actually bear offspring.

7)Acquire a crafty lawyer who has trained all his life for just this case, or your awful parents will sue to keep you from leaving Earth. There is nothing that says "I love you, please don't leave," like a lawsuit.

8) Finally, you get on the ship, expecting to have fun times with your two wives for 90 days. Then you discover the first class berth you got comes with some responsibilities. Like taking care of all the other colonists who will be joining you.

You are their leader.  Seriously? You couldn't even get your younger brother to feed the blue bull oats. But given you have no choice, you, Saran, and Tamara agree to lead the rest of the annoying, whining, thieving colonists.

9) Take a deep breath and relax for a moment, because things are going to get so much worse, you should try to enjoy this moment of discontent. Turns out, the shaman are not very adept at weeding out unpleasant people. I mean seriously, some of these colonists are in they blow up if you question them. I don't mean they get angry and curse, or throw a punch. I mean they blow up. Kaboom! And while the ship is built like a bunch of legos so that destroying a part doesn't destroy everything, still some of the sentients aboard are critical for you to succeed once you arrive on Terranue.

10) Don't worry about Terranue and it's multiple dangers yet because you're going to die BEFORE you reach it. All three of you. Sorry about that. In the Mulitverse anything can happen or not happen. Reality turns out to be really flexible.

Well, this doesn't sound well at all! The title of this blog promised to tell us how to survive, not how to be annoyed, sued, wed, tormented and then die!  Something is not right. I'm going straight to top to get to the bottom of this.

Back from my visit with Zousan, the God of all Gods, except for the first God, and the Gods in other multiverses... 

Anyway, Zousan thinks he'll be able to find a lagging universe which he can focus upon and come up with a better resolution than everyone dying. 

This is why positive thinking is important to all of us. If you expect positive results you are more apt to get them.  Which explains why all those scientists keep finding whatever bizarre particle they are looking for. If you want it to exist bad enough, then it will appear out of nowhere and take a bow.

And that concludes How you survive going Outbound. 
Next challenge: Surviving the planet they drop you off on. 

Each book in the series will be 99 cents from 
December 16-22
This is the one and only time I will do this.


  1. Sure, now you cut the price! No, I won't buy another set to take advantage.
    Love you anyway!

    1. I'm trying a new promotional technique. I really want people to read them all. IMO book four is the best of them.


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