Space Rep: Me?
Liza: Not even close. This is a Canadian, raised on a farm, who decided one day he'd be an astronaut, only at the time he decided, Canada didn't even have a space program. This fellow is no wishful thinker, he's a planner.
So he concludes if Canada did have space program, they would no doubt cull their astronauts from Royal Canadian Air Force (RCAF).
Space Rep: What airforce? Canadians are the most peaceful, non-aggressive humans on the planet.
Liza: Exactly. So he sets out to become an airforce pilot. Only thing the openings in the air force is far smaller than those wishing to join. He beat out 500 people for a slot in the air force. He obtained an engineering degree and during an exchange program with the U.S. got a masters degree in Aviation Systems.
During all his planning & preparing, Canada finally created their space program in 1990. By 1992 he was accepted into it. His first bout in space was in 1995 and he continued to show up in space stations through 2013.
Upon making his musical space debut this year, he returned to earth and left the program to continue his assent to the most interesting man in the world/universe.
He's a proven comedian, intellectual and charmer. In all ways, he is the Perfect Human.
Oh come on, Space Rep, you have to know who I'm talking about by now!
Space Rep: Oh I knew that about an hour ago.
I just love hearing about Chris Hadfield from the Cornfields. He just had to get out of the corn. Can we watch his Space musical?
Liza: Did you know Chris had his son rewrite the lyrics to this song, because in the original version the guy dies, and Chris, being the most interesting man in the universe, cannot be allowed to die. So his son rewrote the song and Chris did it.
Space Rep: Where did you find that in all the stuff written about him?
Liza: I didn't. He interviewed with the National Public Radio. It's what made me realize he isn't just interesting, he is the MOST INTERESTING MAN ON THE PLANET AND IN SPACE, and I dare anyone to find someone better.
He prepares for everything. Once he learned there was a chance he might meet Elton Jon, so he taught himself to sing Rocket Man, just in case Elton wished to ask him to sing it on stage. Elton didn't, but the point is who, besides Chris, would even to think to prepare for that possibility.
He's also incredibly intelligent.
Space Rep: But he can communicate with those like yourself who aren't.
Liza: Hey! Which brings me to another fine quality: He's nice.
Space Rep: You're right. I apologize for implying all your marbles are cracked. I'm sure one or two are still solid.
Liza: And naturally the first book he writes is a NY Times best seller.
Space Rep: No surprise there.
Liza: And he's very funny. He could be a stand up comic, only it's beneath the most interesting guy in the world to do stand up.
Space Rep: But there wouldn't be any hecklers for him.
Liza: *Sighs* There are always hecklers. But if anyone can silence them with his charm, it would be Chris Hadfield. Otherwise, the rest of the audience can tear them apart limb from limb.
Space Rep: That's not nice.
Liza: No it isn't. I, like most of the world, cannot rise to Chris Hadfield's level. When Branson finally get's his spaceship program running, I hope we can send Chris, his family and other nice Canadians off into space to locate a better planet than this one. That way when this one goes into it's next deep freeze, we will have preserved the best of the human race.
And that will give me peace of mind as I freeze to death.